I am not a big birthday celebration person. But turned 43 this weekend and had been looking forward to it for some time.
More than anything, I just feel thankful.
Thankful to God for 43 years on this earth. Thankful for my wife, my daughters, my mother, my grandfather, my family and friends who are still here. Thankful for the people I’ve loved and lost. Thankful for the good experiences, the painful ones, the mistakes, the wins, the disappointments and all the things I didn’t understand when I was going through them.
I’m just incredibly lucky to be alive and to have this life.
As I’ve gotten older, my relationship with God has changed. It’s deeper. I can feel His presence in my life differently than I did when I was younger. I can see the lessons inside experiences that I probably would’ve just called problems 10 or 20 years ago.
I can see the preparation.
I can see the patience.
I can see the people He’s put in my life and the responsibility He’s given me to be there for other people.
And I’m starting to understand that some of the things I’ve asked God for, He gave me — just not necessarily when or how I expected.
Sobriety is one of those things.
There was a point in my life when I drank nearly every day. At that point, I couldn’t have imagined celebrating my birthday with a bunch of my friends without consuming alcohol.
But on this birthday weekend I did exactly that.
We had a house full of people, food, games, music, conversations and laughs. Others drank. I didn’t. And it wasn’t a big deal. I didn’t feel like I was missing anything.
That might sound small to somebody else.
It isn’t small to me.
That’s one of those moments where I could look around and say to myself, God, I see what You’re doing.
I thank God for the time I’ve been given with my daughters. As they get older, fatherhood is changing. I’m not raising little girls anymore. I’m trying to prepare young women for their own lives.
That means teaching. Listening. Correcting. Supporting. Sometimes getting it wrong. Sometimes realizing that the lesson God is teaching might actually be for me.
And through all of it, I feel his patience with me.
His willingness to forgive my sins, keep working on me and continue giving me opportunities to become a better husband, father, son, friend and man is one of the greatest expressions of love I’ve ever experienced.
So 43 wasn’t really about celebrating me.
It was about honoring God and the relationship that we’ve built by me being allowed to live to this point.
A Good Weekend
And with all that said, I had a pretty good birthday weekend.
I took Friday off work, or whatever that means, and went to the Eagles preseason game. The 2nd string played lifelessly against the Cincinatti Bengals’ 2nd stringers. Aside from that and the humidity, attending an Eagles game with the family is always a win.
Saturday morning I headed down to Citizens Bank Park to race the Spartan Stadion in the age-group heat. I’ll write more about that separately because that experience deserves its own post.
Afterward, we had a barbecue at the house.
Friends came over. We played games. We talked. We laughed. I made my famous jerk chicken. My grandfather came down and helped me on the grill like old times.
That meant a lot.
The weather was beautiful, the house was full and everybody seemed comfortable just being together.
Then Sunday, I played golf.
That’s a good weekend.
And I barely took any pictures.
Usually that’s how I know I was having a good time. The phone stayed in my pocket.
Sally and the girls really made the weekend happen. They cooked, cleaned, prepared the house and handled things without me having to ask. Sally invited my friends and, maybe most importantly, she just asked me what I wanted.
At this point in my life, I’ll take that over a surprise every time.
Birthdays Look Different Now
Birthdays at 43 don’t look like birthdays at 23.
I’m good with that.
The parties are different.
The conversations are different.
My kids are older.
My friendships are different.
There might be fewer people around, but the relationships that remain feel deeper and more meaningful. There’s history there now. We’ve watched each other get married, have children, build careers, lose people, struggle, recover, change and grow.
You start seeing some of the fruit from seeds that were planted decades ago.
That’s probably one of my biggest realizations at 43.
Life isn’t becoming less exciting as I get older.
It’s becoming more meaningful.
There is still plenty I want to accomplish. Plenty I need to fix. Plenty I need to learn. Plenty of work left to do.
But today I’m not asking God for anything.
I’m just saying thank you.
Thank You for my wife.
Thank You for my daughters.
Thank You for my mother.
Thank You for my grandfather.
Thank You for my friends.
Thank You for the people who aren’t here anymore but helped make me who I am.
Thank You for sobriety.
Thank You for patience.
Thank You for forgiveness.
Thank You for the lessons I understood and the ones I’m still figuring out.
Thank You for 43 years.
And thank You for whatever comes next.
That’s the way to hustle.
